History

I used to hate history when I was in school. But now, I guess I really like it. I'm starting to like it more and more because it makes sense: Why is this like this? Why is that like that? It's because of our past. It's like fixing a jigsaw puzzle and then see a clearer picture of what it is supposed to be.


One thing I didn't like about history though is that men have multiple wives and concubines. Maybe it is thanks to the conditioning of the society I am in now, but I just find it very off putting. I have no idea why they would want to have so many wives. Okay, maybe I do have some idea of why this is happening, which makes sense and if you live in that era, you'll most likely agree with that idea too.

Couple of reasons to agree with having many wives and/or concubines (long long time ago):
1. To get more allies. This is the most important factor I could think of because last time, all leaders were about expanding their territories, fighting battles yada yada yada. So the more good relationships you build, the bigger your cavalry? or maybe you get more support? No idea. I am trying my best to see this in a good light.

2. Those leaders: emperors, kings, daimyos etc. want to have a lot of children? Just in case if they die then they have a successor and if their successor died, it'll still be their successor (within the family line). Makes sense right?

3. They're just plain horny? How can you have time to run the country/area, go to war and at the same time have 10 wives? That is just crazy. Absurd. Idiotic. Imagine having 10 wives then if each one have 2 kids, then you have 10 wives and 20 kids in the household. What a headache.

Okay. I'm out of reasons.

But I guess, I would be scared if I'm one of those who is living in that era. There doesn't seem to be much security (not that we have a lot of it now). But in the world now, the reality is that a marriage should be between 2 person and not multiple partners (unless the law of your country or religion permits it).

Are we getting more selfish in a way that we cannot share the one we love? Or is it that we are slowly growing into a society that puts faithfulness to one's partner to override everything?

Maybe the society  grew to be more commitment-oriented. The commitment between this two person can only be achieved if there is no third person. If the third person exist, chances of jealousy and lack of trust/faithfulness might exist. This will cause the relationship to be unstable. I guess, in the end, it is stability we are talking about.

More important would be this question: are you able to love more than one person without hurting the person you originally love? Are you able to love them equally? Are you able to care for them all the same? It's hard. There will always be favourites. Then, they will always be one/two/more that will be left behind, abandoned, neglected. It's equality that our society sought for. And also our society cares for those already involved in the relationship. Probably because they know how it feels if you're on the side that's receiving less than you give.