It has been a year

Dear me, 

It has been a year since I last blogged. And I finally decided to blog again because there's no one I could turn to. I need to vent out what I'm feeling, but I don't think people around me would care.

It's finally Valentine's Day and it will be the first time that I'm not celebrating it alone. I guess you can say that I have tons of romance in my blood that I really crave for something romantic. It can happen any other day, but I'm not so sure why this day is so special. Maybe it's the right timing. Maybe it's the day where every other girl receives flowers, gifts, proclamation of love and so on. I have always dream of celebrating this special day with someone extra special. 

But I guess that if I'm dating a block of wood, there's nothing much to expect. I know it's not right to ask or demand or even hint to someone, so I didn't. I try to keep my expectations as low as it can be. I try to keep my mouth shut. But I'm hurting inside thanks to this action of mine.

So, I finally spoke up. I told him how I felt. But I guess that he doesn't get it. I told him that it's my first Valentine's celebration ever. And I was really looking forward to it being special. And he agreed, he agreed that timing is everything. But I guess I was a bit dumb to look forward to all this. I sound like a 16-year-old ranting. But I can't help it. *Sigh* I told myself that I should be mature and not act or think that way, but I can't. 

I have always regarded this day-created-by-vendors-to-increase-sales as something important. I know that it's just another day. But the romantic side inside of me would not think of it that way. With all the romance novels, romantic dramas and movies, it became something special in my heart. Like how weddings and proposals are special to (most) girls (or guys).

I don't need any other day to be special. I just want this one day to be special. 

I guess I'm really asking too much. 

Sincerely, 

Me