Standing Solid

I was going to name this post 'Standing Strong' or 'Standing Tall' but the word 'solid' fits more for me. Something stable and firm like a wall.

My good friend, Alicia showed me a TED talk ('Why 30 is not the new 20' by Meg Jay) and it made me think: At least I have most of her points done or incorporated into my life so far. As much as I can, because I want to live the life I want.

And how do I know what I want? I guess it's true what people say; that your failures or obstacles help define you. You begin to see what you're capable of doing, what you're not good at doing, what you like to do even though you suck at it, you learn all this different sides of you.

And sometimes, it's not only about learning these sides of you but also learning to accept them, which is one think people are incapable to do the most. We live in a society which thinks being accepted and/or liked by others is important. It leads to you not being bullied and open more doors. Let's say you're really fugly, doors will be slammed in your face no matter how good you are at singing. Unless of course you're willing to shed all that weight and/or go for cosmetic surgery which is evident in Asia (entertainment industry).Mainly because we expect them to be perfect and prefer a more good looking person with talent compared to an ugly one. Why? Easy, it's our fantasy we want to live out.

Okay, back to the topic at hand; after all that has happened to me in the past couple of years. It has been very 'defining'. Some of these events brought me to either my lowest lows or my highest highs.
They show me what I'm made of or what I want to be made of. It's like if you're a rubber ball, you would never know it until you're pushed off the table and bounce back up. Sometimes, you're a glass vase and end up broken when that happens, but you still learn something. Even though you're broken, if only you can accept it, then you're still you. There's nothing wrong with that actually. If there's one or two missing pieces, then let it be. Don't go going around upset about these missing pieces. You use to have no missing pieces but things changed. You change.

You grow taller, but you have to stop at some point, and then, you'll start shrinking. Funny thing is, this is a fact, the fact is that things change. But somehow or another, we don't like or want that to happen. You can't accept you when you change.

Self-acceptance is very rare these days. I have to agree with that because I was on both sides of the groups:the one with very little self-acceptance and the one with a lot of self-ego that they judge everyone else based on their standards. When I judge someone and realised what I'm doing, I cringe. I just did what I did not want others to do to me. I too do not want people to judge me because then, it's harder for me to accept myself.

But with all that has happened. My values have grown more firm. I know the emergency fire drill in case if there's a fire within me or something's wrong with me. But this is for now. For now, I feel everything being more stable. I know what I want when I don't know what I want. I know what to expect when I don't know what to expect. I know me and accept me.